“I think we should go over the details,” said the Devil.
“Why is it so complicated? Can’t you just make me Satan?” asked Adam.
“Adam, be polite. Your father is trying to help you.” June’s ghost had reappeared floating above the bowling lanes.
“Mother, can you just let me do it my way?”
“Adam is right. The ritual is too complicated. So, I made a few changes to expedite matters and make the transition more fun. Now, let’s bowl,” said Satan.
Adam didn’t respond. He was too busy smelling his bowling shoes. Suddenly the little dog started barking. They all turned to see Sophia enter the bowling alley with gun raised.
“What are you doing here?” Adam said surprised.
“Mayor Ham called me.”
“Go away,” demanded Adam.
“Adam, be polite. Sophia is my insurance. If you back out of our deal, she dies.”
That was a lie. Satan had important plans for the detective.
“Are you serious?” asked Adam.
“Afraid so.” Satan stood up. “Now, let’s bowl.”
“Listen, no one is going to die,” Sophia said using her best cop voice. “I want everyone to sit down and relax.”
“I’m afraid there is no turning back. And I must insist you refrain from interfering,” said Satan.
“I do not know what is going on, but….”
The Devil used a secret hand signal and the little dog under the bench transformed into the giant demon Cerberus straddling two lanes.
Chaos ensued.
Everyone in the building ran screaming for the exits except for a few brave souls who paused to take selfies before departing.
“That’s better,” said Satan.
He made another signal, and the monster moved forward with malicious intent. Sophia fired two gun shots before the creature picked her up in his arms. Adam immediately rushed to her defense, but he was sent sliding down the bowling lane with a single blow from the three-headed demon. Then Sophia was forced to sit and witness the ungodly transition. Satan for his part, was very pleased that everything was going as planned. The detective’s involvement was critical to the tacky climax.
“Bowl. You need a strike,” Satan instructed Adam.
“What are you talking about?”
“Throw a strike, and you become Satan.”
“What? Really? I thought there was a special ceremony?”
“In the interest of time and your limited abilities, I decided to change the ritual.”
Over the ages, the transfer ceremony had evolved into a state of baroque hyperbole. The truth was Satan believed the occult production had become tedious and more than a little kitschy. Also, Adam’s ADD clearly ruled out the performance option, so the Devil improvised.
“Please, bowl away.”
Adam held the ball up, slowly strolled towards the line, aimed carefully and sent the black orb spinning down the lane. It was a spare.
“Good effort my boy. Try again.”
Surely, it was only a matter of time before the teen succeeded. Thirty minutes later, Adam had yet to make a strike and the group had lost all patience with his continued failure.
“How many is that?” Adam asked sheepishly.
“Twenty-eight balls, but who’s counting,” June said with visible frustration.
“Mother! Do you think I am trying to miss?”
“No, dear—not on purpose.”
Whitly chose this moment to enter the bowling alley in a wheelchair with the ubiquitous video crew in tow.
“Hello one and all,” Whit announced his arrival as a crew member helped pushed him to the lane.
“Back from the dead, I see,” said Satan.
“Yes, and a changed man. I realized I needed to play to my strengths. Bottom line, I’m a deal maker. I bring people together to achieve greatness. That is who I am.”
The video crew was stunned by the demon’s appearance. While Whit, the veteran of countless boardroom battles and cheap publicity stunts ignored the monster in the room.
“My time in the healthcare system gave me time to think. Oh, hi, nice to see you again detective,” Whit said noticing Sophia. “So, I did what any public figure caught in a scandal would do, I reflected, refocused, and hired a PR firm to rehabilitate my image.”
Whit finally recognized the monster in the room. “Anyone else see the demon?” The group was too shocked to respond. Whit resumed undeterred, “Whatever, I’m back in business with an independent production company and I want to pick-up where we left off. I believe we had an agreement in place.”
“Yes, well, I’ve decided to go in a different direction,” said Satan.
“What? I have already sold the European rights. They love the idea. The concept has that dark, morally ambiguous, old-world vibe they totally get.”
“Whit, I like your energy. I truly do, and I’m still optimistic we can work together sometime in the future, but this is not the right project.”
“Bullshit! I am not leaving here until we hammer out a deal,” said Whit.
“Well, I did try to warn you.”
The demon dropped Sophia and moved towards Whitly.
“Christ, that thing is alive!” Whit said in shock.
Sophia quickly retrieved her gun and pumped another three bullets into the monster as the creature seized Whit’s wheelchair and spilled the old man onto the floor. Death was a formality. Sophia panicked, dropped the gun and grabbed the bowling ball from Adam.
“Give me the goddamn ball. Shit, you are useless.”
Sophia stepped forward and threw the ball down the alley. The journey ended with a sharp crack.
A strike!
The demon did not move.
Everyone looked at Sophia.
Nothing had changed, but everything was different.
Satan walked over to Sophia and shook her hand. “Congratulations young lady. You are now the Devil!”
“Wait, what?” Sophia said in shock.
Satan wanted to tell her everything would be all right, but he didn’t want to create false hope. That job belonged to people with a podcast or video channel. Instead, he just smiled.
“You said I was the chosen one,” insisted Adam.
“Sorry. I decided to go in a different direction.”
To Satan’s great surprise, Michael had reported God was open to the idea of his return to Heaven. What the angel didn’t tell him was he was pretty sure the Creator thought he was making a joke, because when he asked the question, God burst out laughing and said, “Sure, why not—wow, that is a good one.”
“You can’t be serious?” Sophia said making a quick internal audit that revealed the only notable change was a sudden craving for spicy Indian food.
“I, for one, think the change is wonderful. About time a woman had a chance. Although, to be honest, my dear, I think you will need to review your wardrobe. Embrace the drama, wear more reds and blacks. Buy some Louboutins,” June announced as she drifted over the lanes.
“No! No! You planned it this way,” said Adam.
“Consider the transfer done.”
“But I don’t feel any different,” Sophia glared at Satan in wonder.
“Odd, isn’t it, but trust me, you have limitless evil power. However, it will take a few days to make the transition complete.”
“Trust you?”
“Please you need to relax. I, for one, feel very liberated,” shared Satan.
Adam picked Sophia’s gun off the floor. “You never believed in me. Nothing I did was ever good enough for you,” he said as he walked towards his stepdad with gun raised.
“Son, that is not true.” Satan backed away, fearing the worst.
“You are lying. You’re still playing your sick, twisted games.”
“Adam, you don’t want to do this!” Sophia pleaded.
He ignored the warning, raised the gun, and fired.
Unlike his bowling game, it was a direct hit.
The mayor staggered backward, holding his chest and slumped to the bench as bright red blood seeped through his fingers and dripped onto the varnished wood floor. The demon, uncertain of what had happened, rushed towards Adam.
“Stop!” Sophia screamed at the monster.
The beast froze in place.
“Dear God! It’s all real,” Adam reeled back in shock and dropped the gun.
“No!” Sophia suddenly realized the massive implications of her actions. Her life had changed forever, and all she could think was, well, there goes my dating life.
“Are you getting this?” Whit asked the video crew. “Zoom in. The drama is in the close-ups.”
“But you can’t die,” pleaded Adam.
True, Satan was immortal, but the human avatar could, and would, die. Historically, avatar transfers required a new candidate kill the old avatar. The method was cruel, but efficient. A true succession ritual had not happened in centuries. Fortunately, Sophia’s strike eliminated the need for the ceremony.
Satan had his new avatar.
Although he admired Adam’s enthusiasm his stepson’s act of revenge was too late. The transition had already begun. Deep inside their shared mind Mayor Simon Ham was distraught over his impending death, while Satan was relieved and thought this couldn’t have worked out better.
“I am sorry to disappoint you, but I made a side deal with archangel Michael,” said the Devil. “We didn’t think you were ready, so I changed the plan.”
Satan only offered Adam the job, thinking he needed a young, healthy body to achieve his goals. But once it became clear Adam was incapable of the task, he was forced to find an alternate candidate. Fortunately, the detective provided the perfect solution to his problems.
So end of Book 1